The mysterious ice fortress looks an awful lot like another cold, crystal-filled fortress visited by a hero in a red cape… Also a lot of stupid people are in this game.
After a long, rant-filled playthrough, the sphinx relaxes with the ol’ Quest for Glory II drunk griffin.
Part 2: Child kidnapping, popcorn-flavored jelly beans, murder, and staring contests! All here in the Kelvin timeline of King’s Quest!
Part 3: After an interminable car trip, our intrepid family arrives at a tropical vacation spot, which has mysteriously frozen over. But WHO CARES? PUZZLES!!!!!!!1!!11!1!!!11!!
Part 4: King Graham squashes all of his son’s interests and uses him for manual labor, thereby winning the Trophy for *Totally* Understanding Teenage Millennials.
Part 5: Alexander finally gets as fed up with Graham as we are and snaps! Figuratively and literally!
Part 6: We reach the end of the Fortress of Solitude, only to find an old “friend.” You mean this sinister frozen wasteland of evil was actually a trap?!?!?!?!?
Part 7: In this climax, Graham’s family is in mortal danger! BUT WHO THREW OUT HIS FAVORITE MUG?!?!?!?!? Can you tell this game makes me angry?
Part 8: The game is basically over, so have about ten more puzzles for no reason! The answer is LOVE! It’s ALWAYS the answer!