Hey, it’s that game that’s like chess except you battle each other! You know, Archon!
Note: For some reason none of the game audio was recorded. Therefore, I put some background music in the video. I couldn’t find any remixes of Archon, though, so I made my own! Listen to it here!
Part 1: King Graham sets out to Kolyma to avoid marrying his royal vizier, I mean, find his true love.
Part 2: We go TO THE LIBRARY! We also get the plot of the game from Dan Rock and talk to a merchant with an accent even more racist than our own!
Part 3: After searching every log in the kingdom, Graham helps a pumpkin from Brooklyn and makes out with a mermaid. Hot pixel action!
Part 4: King Graham infiltrates the Sharkee kingdom and makes it to the Willamette Valley. Dink. Donk. AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!?!? Also, Batman happens.
Part 5: We find a genie lamp, but the genie has been set free. Which is too bad, because I would’ve wished for a computer that DOESN’T CRASH!
Part 6: To defeat an enchanter, King Graham tries to be a spellcaster like his son eventually will be, but soon decides “screw it” and pulls a sword on him instead. A wizard, he ain’t! Then we talk to a pegasus in a slightly less contrived way than the original game had us do.
Part 7: King Graham takes a multiple-choice test to prove our worth to a cloud, and also spoils several games down the line. Not cool, game. Then we have to pray just to make it today!
Part 8: It wouldn’t be a King’s Quest game without a random maze that kills you for no reason. Also we rob a dorf. Uh, dwarf.
Part 9: Good thing Grandma lived long enough for an exposition Powerpoint presentation before kicking it. Speaking of the dead, here’s an off-brand Dracula!
Part 10: After dreaming of the end credits pop song, Graham ups his indirect kill count by at least two. And you thought Grandma’s exposition was long-winded when she was *alive*…
Part 11: Between the bookshelf puzzle and the gravedigging, I think this completes my Sierra Bingo Card!
Part 12: After a pixel hunting nightmare, Graham finally gets the Count’s tiara for him. Now he can be pretty! Also, the most anticlimactic end to a quest ever.
Part 13: After an encounter with a sly little chap that breaks the laws of the universe, Graham plants the seeds for at least five crossover fanfics (six, if you count Indiana Jones).
Part 14: In the finale, Graham finds the love of his life, kills off polyjuiced Hermione, has a wedding ceremony attended by a lot of undead and also Batman, and proceeds to battle a series of deviantart drawings. Then he is cursed to live out at least five more King’s Quest games!
The Player and the Doodler 