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Part 10: We rescue David Bowie from angry birdmen and feeding plants to other plants! Bloomin’ onions!
PART 11 FEATURES ZOAH! HE ALWAYS TALKS IN CAPS! PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S HARD TO HEAR ANYTHING IN THAT HELMET! Also we play the dinosaur version of Tapper. Yup yup yup! And…Digimon?
Part 12: We begin the infiltration of Viper Manor proper, which is filled with dag-nuts and Boxer Boys! Rated T!
Part 13: The Player nearly gives himself an aneurysm shouting out ZOAH’s lines, and we fight happy Pac-men!
Part 14: We fight a nine-year-old girl who’s one of the best warriors in the land because Japan. Also, the Prophet of Exposition tells us about alternate dimensions via old-man-whale song or something, and we find an evil cat guy and his booty.
Part 15: The Viper manor sequence finally comes to a close with several questionable decisions from the hot-headed Australian girl. Then a kid with no pants gives us a moral dilemma cliffhanger! Ha chachachachachaa!
Part 16: We decide to just let Kid die and we bum around the shanty town of Guldove for a while, entirely plotless. But on the plus side, Korcha’s mom chews him out for not wearing pants or something.
Part 17: Glenn (the Acacia soldier, not the frog from Chrono Trigger) decides to abandon his post and invade the fortress the rest of his army is occupying for literally no reason, so we join him. Hey, it’s better than hanging around a fishing village waiting for Kid to snuff it.
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Chrono Cross, the sequel to Chrono Trigger. Is it as perfect as reviews at the time praised it for being? Or is it as terrible as its current reputation?
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Part 1: A teenage pirate and two strippers fight robots! Sounds like a JRPG to me!
Part 2: Serge bums around his home village of Arni, filled with citizens with very silly names. Also, we narrowly avoid having a giant pink abomination join us as our first party member. Humina humina humina!
Part 3: Serge commits Komodo Dragon Genocide to please his girlfriend. *whip sound*
Part 4: Serge drops dead to avoid his girlfriend droning on about the sea and memories and stuff. Also, things are the same but not.
Part 5: Serge gets attacked by the comedy relief and a guy with fabulous hair, but is saved by an inexplicably Australian girl. He then totally shuts her down to hang out with a giant pink dog and an animated scarecrow. Serge has made better decisions.
Part 6: Serge and company poison themselves in a swamp for no good reason. And Solt & Peppor are back for more! Boogum!
Part 7: Skulls within skulls! It’s skullception! Also, Serge makes it to Termina and finally adds Kid to his party, that slick boy!
Part 8: Emo teens, Scottish blacksmiths, and honorable knights. Also, we need to pick who to follow to Viper Manor: the coked-up rock star, the enigmatic magician, or the foppish French dude?
Part 9: Chat picks Nikki the rock star to guide us to Viper Manor, but we show off the Pierre path first just because it’s so silly. TTTTOOOOOOOOMMMMAAAAATTTTOOOOOO!!!!!!
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