Part 1: Ridley breaks up with Samus and trashes a space station, and she pursues trying to get her CD’s back!
Part 2: Some snippets from the Metroid Musical, featuring FlaAaaAaAghraaaaaaaa! Also, I can’t get married to a bug from Metroid ’cause I’m married to the letter C.
Part 3: We, the Chozo, wanted to get back to nature, so we built a temple and filled it with bees! In retrospect this was a terrible idea.
Part 4: Pirates in the tooowwweeerrr, I’m reachin’ out! My heart cries out for yooouuuuuuu!
Part 5: You fail to realize the Gravity of this sequence break.
Part 6: Can we construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Part 7: Ted, the smartest Space Pirate, knows how to keep his job.
Part 8: The Doodler slowly drowns in his home at the bottom of the Great Salt Lake.
Part 9: DANGER MUSIC! Space Pirate office politics! And the Omega Massage Therapist!
Part 10: Phazon: the Freshmaker! If Phazon Madness lasts for more than five hours, consult your local Mother Brain.
Part 11: The Player earns his GameFAQs merit badge. And will the Doodler ever *not* hate someone from any of these games?
Part 12: Ridley writes a heroic couplet for Sir Wats’ birthday! Also we beat the game or whatever. Has anybody made our TVTropes page yet?
Part 1: We begin our Beat-em-up Blitz (featuring guest star 11-year-old The Beevi) with a round of Super Smash Bros. Melee. Who will win: the rat PLAY, the armored spacewoman DOOD, the little elf kid BEEV, or the giant blue ape CPU?
Part 2: We close out the Beevi Beat-em-up Blitz with a couple more rounds of Super Smash Bros. Melee. Nobody wavedashes.