The final “old-school” King’s Quest game, where a millennial slave turns an old man into a cat. Internet gold!
Part 1: Death steals a baby, in an historical event you may remember as WORLD WAR ONE
Part 2: Our poor slave Gwydion gets hit on by all the people he meets in town, and then finds the Doodler’s journal.
Part 3: Gwydion’s spelling career begins, which eventually results in a backstory. And yes, it’s a red-letter day for all you square castle fans!
Part 4: Sometimes we walk in. Also, can Gwydion’s Buzzfeed quiz skills save the soul of Medusa?
Part 5: The storekeep gets increasingly creepier, and Gwydion keeps screwing up his Hogwarts exams.
Part 6: Gwydion drinks sand and salt water, then tries to sing. Instead of resulting in him vomiting, however, it results in a mid-90’s ballad that may or may not result in the audience vomiting. Finally, a millennial tries to sing and definitely results in everyone vomiting.
Part 7: The wizard is finally defeated! Also, Neil Diamond happens. Support our Patreon, whenever it finally gets off the ground!
Part 8: Can The Player complete his N.E.W.T.s without going insane? Will The Doodler accept Rogers & Hammerstein as a legitimate composer/lyricist duo? Will pirates solve either of these problems?
Part 9: We visit the remake-exclusive Island of Puzzles or whatever. Will Gwydion’s weight-loss methods let him pass through the Guardian of Forever? Will he ever become Dr. Brain’s assistant?
Part 10: We ditch the cleanest pirate ship around in order to hike through the Dalles and bamboozle a yeti. Also, a pirate feels a strange pulling sensation…
Part 11: Alexander saves the day as his breathmint rebuilds the kingdom! And THE FATHER turns out to be some dude in a cloak shaking his fist outside the castle. And with that, old school King’s Quest has concluded!
The Third of our Quest of Kings! Though there isn’t really a king in this game outside of a very brief cameo!
Part 1: Gwydion?!? You’re not King Graham!! What the hell?!?
I just noticed that Ken Williams is listed as the “Key Grip” in the credits. That’s pretty hilarious.
Part 2: But sometimes when you walk in…
Part 3: Boy, they just don’t make evil wizards like they used to.
Part 4 is a giant marathon Hogwarts final exam. Will Gwydion pass his O.W.L.’s? Or will he put dough in his eyes and get struck by lightning repeatedly?
Part 5 has us finally learning about our past and bidding Ffarewell to Llewdor. Also, some minor Patrick Stewart bashing. Sorry.
Part 6 is entirely pirate-ship-based. Also, two grown men start slowly losing their sanity at being stuck on a ship and resort to anime-bashing and Don Bluth-bashing. Cabin fever!
Part 7: Some beautiful alpine scenes, and the return of both our favorite square castle and unspellable gnome! Oh, also, we beat the game and meet the king, yadda yadda yadda.