King’s Quest VII: the game that results from the question, “What if Sierra got a glimpse into the future, saw all of our King’s Quest doodles, and decided to make a game from it? Also, terrible animation and voice acting?” Once again featuring The Sister.
Page 1 | 2
Part 1: We Really Wanted To Be A Don Bluth Film.
Part 2: Is the Native American pool statue a man or a woman? YOU make the call! Also, Rosella turns into Gadget from Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers.
Part 3: Troll Fetch Quest! That’s a nice golbol.
Part 4: Do we murder a troll or murder ALL the trolls? Also, Rosella turns back into a human after briefly becoming a Looney Tunes character.
Part 5: Rosella evades a villain with the most confusing motives ever. Meanwhile, Valanice resolves the Chapter 1 cliffhanger in, like, five seconds.
Part 6: Masquerade! Hideous faces on parade! Masquerade! Hide your face so the poodle will not find you!
Part 7: Valanice is still putzing around in the off-brand Alice in Wonderland town, but at least the rock man eventually sneezes her back into the desert.
Part 8: In our continuing theme of ripping off Disney movies, Rosella travels to Halloweentown. Also, you have to talk to the gravedigger several times to get the plot to move! GAAAAAAAAAAAMME!
Part 9: It wouldn’t be a King’s Quest game without being at the mercy of the Random Number Gods. “But SOMETIMES when you blow a horn…”
Part 10: We find the ancient artifact that will destroy Ursula, er, Malicia, but it’s missing its mini-USB charging cord. Then Rosella explores the part of the game we previously saw as Valanice. Too bad Valanice is in prison.