Chrono Cross, the sequel to Chrono Trigger. Is it as perfect as reviews at the time praised it for being? Or is it as terrible as its current reputation?
Part 1: A teenage pirate and two strippers fight robots! Sounds like a JRPG to me!
Part 2: Serge bums around his home village of Arni, filled with citizens with very silly names. Also, we narrowly avoid having a giant pink abomination join us as our first party member. Humina humina humina!
Part 3: Serge commits Komodo Dragon Genocide to please his girlfriend. *whip sound*
Part 4: Serge drops dead to avoid his girlfriend droning on about the sea and memories and stuff. Also, things are the same but not.
Part 5: Serge gets attacked by the comedy relief and a guy with fabulous hair, but is saved by an inexplicably Australian girl. He then totally shuts her down to hang out with a giant pink dog and an animated scarecrow. Serge has made better decisions.
Part 6: Serge and company poison themselves in a swamp for no good reason. And Solt & Peppor are back for more! Boogum!
Part 7: Skulls within skulls! It’s skullception! Also, Serge makes it to Termina and finally adds Kid to his party, that slick boy!
Part 8: Emo teens, Scottish blacksmiths, and honorable knights. Also, we need to pick who to follow to Viper Manor: the coked-up rock star, the enigmatic magician, or the foppish French dude?
Part 9: Chat picks Nikki the rock star to guide us to Viper Manor, but we show off the Pierre path first just because it’s so silly. TTTTOOOOOOOOMMMMAAAAATTTTOOOOOO!!!!!!