The mayor of Mordavia has his own delicious side business!
Inspired by Erana’s Garden.
It’s the Leshy! Cuckoos come out of his hole!
A pastiche of stuff, including a tentacle monster and green flame from the Dark One’s cave, a bug pillar from outside said cave, the Borgov’s castle if it were floating for some reason, and a scary eyeball monster that in reality is just the mouse cursor.
Strange devices in Dr. Cranium’s place don’t just identify animals, but fend off Attacks from Demons!
The saddest part of our playthrough so far. At least we got a lot of lockpicking skill in the process.
I don’t need to add a caption for this picture at this point. King’s Quest I. You know the drill by now.
Count Fivefingers vs. a wing-a-ling Trogdor (who nearly appears in the game).
Anna, the ghost in the woods. You can help put her soul to rest, and get a nice hat out of the deal!
Magda, the gypsy fortune teller, giving some not-very-helpful hints. “Dreams mean something, or they don’t. Whatever; fifty dollars.”
The H.R. Giger cave. Surely just a normal cave, right?
The best death in the game. Be careful of what you read in evil monasteries!
Undead Tanya. Any similarities to famous vampire-driven story characters are purely coincidental.
Katrina, vampire woman extraordinaire. Any similarities to famous comic book characters are purely coincidental.
Part 1: After a long hiatus, we finally return to the Quest for Glory series with QFG4: Shadows of Darkness! Renowned thief Count Fivefingers finds himself in an unfamiliar ribcage and must escape. But on the plus side, his life is suddenly narrated by John Rhys-Davies!
Part 2: Our hero meets the colorful townsfolk of Mordavia, including the Burger Meister and the Avocado Woman.
Part 3: It’s far more difficult than it should be to receive your thief certification from the Chief Thief Peter Lorre cockroach in this town. Also, John Rhys-Davies starts drinking just to make it through his pun-laden lines.
Part 4: We solve a bunch of brain-teasers…FOR SCIENCE! At least Jess Harnell and Neil Ross seem to be having fun making up better lines for the townspeople than the game gives them.
Part 5: Will Boris Karloff ever mend fences with the Avocado Woman? Or will he simply do the Monster Mash?
Part 6: The exposition finally dispensed with, Count Fivefingers ventures forth into the countryside of Mordavia, to encounter bloodthirsty bunnies and Radagast’s country bumpkin little brother! Cuckoos come out of his hole!
Part 7: We meet the Rusalka, who has well-developed…characteristics. Will she drive up our Youtube views? Also, we run into an old…friend?
Part 8: Count Fivefingers’s thieving skills are as rusty as the hinges on everything in the house he robs.
Part 9: The game’s scripted comedian battles wits with the unscripted improv of the townspeople’s voice actors. Who will win?
Part 10: Ten parts in, and this game finally gets a plot. Uh, kind of.
Part 11: Our poor Count nearly kills himself trying to free a gypsy. Then irony kicks in.
King’s Quest VII: the game that results from the question, “What if Sierra got a glimpse into the future, saw all of our King’s Quest doodles, and decided to make a game from it? Also, terrible animation and voice acting?” Once again featuring The Sister.
Part 11: We return months later to find out how a Queen performs community service. Also we steal the pants off a bear.
Part 12: The game laps itself (again) as Valanice visits *sigh* Ooga-Booga Land. Also, we get run over by a horse and visit Etheria, which resembles the fever dream of Homer (the writer) and Lisa Frank.
Part 13: Everyone in the kingdom is waiting to die, so we decide to go to sleep. ACTION-PACKED! Then we’re attacked by a doodle! The fourth wall will not save us!
Part 14: The voice actors get so bored with this game that it sounds like one falls asleep in the middle of his lines. Then Valanice finds math, rips off King’s Quest II (maybe?), and stares at a well-endowed wind spirit for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Part 15: The “exciting” conclusion! Trolls are turned into princes! Lava is stopped by spiderwebs! “Frozen” is ripped off 20 years before it came out! And endgame cutscenes are repeated because Sierra!
Part 1: King Graham sets out to Kolyma to avoid marrying his royal vizier, I mean, find his true love.
Part 2: We go TO THE LIBRARY! We also get the plot of the game from Dan Rock and talk to a merchant with an accent even more racist than our own!
Part 3: After searching every log in the kingdom, Graham helps a pumpkin from Brooklyn and makes out with a mermaid. Hot pixel action!
Part 4: King Graham infiltrates the Sharkee kingdom and makes it to the Willamette Valley. Dink. Donk. AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!?!? Also, Batman happens.
Part 5: We find a genie lamp, but the genie has been set free. Which is too bad, because I would’ve wished for a computer that DOESN’T CRASH!
Part 6: To defeat an enchanter, King Graham tries to be a spellcaster like his son eventually will be, but soon decides “screw it” and pulls a sword on him instead. A wizard, he ain’t! Then we talk to a pegasus in a slightly less contrived way than the original game had us do.
Part 7: King Graham takes a multiple-choice test to prove our worth to a cloud, and also spoils several games down the line. Not cool, game. Then we have to pray just to make it today!
Part 8: It wouldn’t be a King’s Quest game without a random maze that kills you for no reason. Also we rob a dorf. Uh, dwarf.
Part 9: Good thing Grandma lived long enough for an exposition Powerpoint presentation before kicking it. Speaking of the dead, here’s an off-brand Dracula!
Part 10: After dreaming of the end credits pop song, Graham ups his indirect kill count by at least two. And you thought Grandma’s exposition was long-winded when she was *alive*…
Part 11: Between the bookshelf puzzle and the gravedigging, I think this completes my Sierra Bingo Card!
Part 12: After a pixel hunting nightmare, Graham finally gets the Count’s tiara for him. Now he can be pretty! Also, the most anticlimactic end to a quest ever.
Part 13: After an encounter with a sly little chap that breaks the laws of the universe, Graham plants the seeds for at least five crossover fanfics (six, if you count Indiana Jones).
Part 14: In the finale, Graham finds the love of his life, kills off polyjuiced Hermione, has a wedding ceremony attended by a lot of undead and also Batman, and proceeds to battle a series of deviantart drawings. Then he is cursed to live out at least five more King’s Quest games!
The Player and the Doodler 